Blair's Keeper
by theraininspring
Summary: There were things Blair would never know. Of that Chuck was sure but that doesn’t make them any less true. She was his secret from the start. An undecided number of one-shots depicting events in Blair’s life being orchestrated by an unlikely source.
1. Secrets

_There were things Blair would never know. Of that Chuck was sure but that doesn't make them any less true. She was his secret from the start. An undecided number of one-shots depicting events in Blair's life being orchestrated by an unlikely source._

* * *

Chuck leaned against the bar of Serena van der Woodsen's spacious apartment. Her mother had gotten it so she could be closer to school while she was off in Florence with her third husband.

Serena was already wasted. Her blonde hair wilder than usual and she was moving with total lack of grace to some new and obnoxious dance song. She looked a mess but it didn't matter because Nate was watching her, mesmerized. Blair at his side, her eyes unfocused.

He knew at that moment there was nothing Nate wanted more in the world than Serena. And Blair had no idea.

He felt conflicted. Nate was his best friend. But he knew the power lust had. How destructive that one little emotion was. How powerful it was. How it could reduce the strongest people.

He closed his eyes. It had destroyed his mother.

Would it destroy Blair?

_**you say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed.**_

They had been kicked out of the club for under age drinking. He tried to pay them off but apparently a liquor license was worth more in Manhattan than his trust fund. Serena suggested going back to her place and continuing the party.

She laughed and said she'd be drinking till morning anyways; she might as well be doing it with friends. With her mother away there was nothing holding her back. She liked to think she didn't live by anyone's rules. Really they were all she wanted.

He watched Serena for a moment again. She moved seductively for her non existent audience. Self confidence is what she claimed it was. He knew it was insecurity.

His attention turned to Blair. She hadn't drank much and complained her dress felt tight. Every drink she bought went to Serena, which may have explained Serena's current state.

He watched her sit there stiffly. Her shoulders straight and her legs crossed. She looked so contorted and confined. Almost unable to breath.

It seemed impossible to occupy as little space as Blair had managed to. She disappeared on that couch with Nate.

To disappear to appear, what a contradiction Chuck thought.

Appearance was everything to Blair. She wanted to look the part and as hard as she tried, Serena seemed to fit it better. Everything fit her wrong.

Her life felt too big, she had mumbled once, long ago. Before she gave up alcohol because of its calories. Though she claimed it was because of the unrestrained behavior.

He believed it to a degree. If there was one thing Blair needed it was control.

Especially when it was so easy for everything to be out of control.

He wondered if Nate noticed. Most likely not. As per their recent conversations the only thing that Nate had noticed was how long Serena's legs had gotten.

"A drink Waldorf?"

She looked shaken, as though brought back from some distant place. She was never really there.

"No. I'm fine."

She ran a hand across her flat stomach. So unconscious at this point he was sure she thought no one had noticed. She had almost forgotten herself.

She looped her arm around Nate's who seemed not to notice. Instead he stood up, shaking Blair off his arm.

He looked constrained by her. Like she was constrained by the world.

Chuck stared at her for a moment but she avoided his eyes.

What was she thinking she was hiding?

"Let's do shots. Come on Chuck," he looked at Blair finally, "Want one?"

She shook her head; she had regained the composure she had momentarily lost.

Nate turned to Serena and offered her a hand to get off the table.

She smiled widely and jumped off. Her heels discarded long a go and her dress traded in for one significantly shorter.

It would be a lie to say that Serena didn't enjoy the attention. She lived to put on a show.

Even if the show was only for her best friend's boyfriend.

Chuck had scratched Serena off his list long ago. He never slept with the same girl twice.

She stumbled and Nate steadied her.

Chuck turned to the bar and took out the shot glasses and grabbed the bottle of vodka.

He took a shot with his friends and turned to the couch.

Blair was gone. The tiny space she had occupied empty.

He knew where she was. He wished Nate did too but he was so clueless.

He thought it might go on forever. How could no one notice her disappearing?

He would never call himself responsible but in this group he found himself often standing back and looking in on everyone's self destructive behavior.

Nate wanted to be anything but what his father wanted. He'd find success somewhere else but at the cost of his father's love. He'd forever regret the tie he severed but he'd live.

Serena drank too much. She'd eventually drink too much and sleep with the wrong person. She may loose a friendship but she'd escape with her life.

Blair. She was different. She was secretive and quiet. She stood gracefully in the background so that no one would notice her absence. But he knew her self destructive behavior would cause her death if no one took notice.

And thus far no one had. And he was sure no one else would.

Serena stumbled to the couch. Laughing incoherently, she was done for the night.

He grabbed Nate roughly by the sleeve.

He could be her secret keeper no longer. He refused to let her become his self destructive behavior.

He gave his trademark smirk, "I saw Blair go towards the bathroom. Serena's about to pass out on the couch you might as well make use of the circumstances," he placed a firm hand at the back of Nate's neck, "Its time to become a man my dear boy."

He winked and passed Nate a condom.

Nate looked confused for a moment. Disappointed that the party was over but he quickly caught on and smiled.

"Thanks man."

He gave on last lustful glance towards Serena and headed towards the bedroom.

Chuck felt relief spread through his body. She would get help. She would keep her pride and she would get help.

He took another shot.

He had only wished he could have been there to help her along the way.

Chuck left before he heard her Blair shouting. He didn't want to lie to her when she would casually ask what he had heard.

_**you are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins  
**__**holding on to yourself the best you can**_

* * *

I've been racking my brain for a story idea for Chcuk and Blair, so here it is: one-shots detaling how Chuck has always played an important part in things Blair thought he had no idea or control over. Just a little background into who Chuck/Blair really are to each other. I'm open to suggestions of what Chuck may have influenced thus far in their relationship.

Thank you for reading and please leave a review if you can. It'll make the sun shine a little brighter (I swear).

_Brand New lyrics_


	2. Only You

Just a little disclaimer, I don't own Gossip Girl.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed or altered this story. I was unsure of how people would respond to this fic so it was nice knowing people understood the method behind my madness.

This is a little different. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

She was already trashed when he got there. One of the waiters had snapped a picture of Blair Waldorf falling off her chair at the Palace Hotel bar and sent it to Gossip Girl. Apparently everyone enjoyed seeing the UES at its worst.

He had emptied the bar to ensure Gossip Girl wouldn't get any more pictures of Blair losing the control she had worked so hard to gain.

His father would be angry but Chuck didn't care. He couldn't let anyone see her like this.

He couldn't risk things going back to the way they were.

He walked briskly to her side. She was looking like she may fall again. He caught her just in time.

"Nate, is that you?"

She lifted her hooded eyes towards Chuck.

She looked unguarded. He had seen her like this often. Though he was sure no one else had.

Not her storybook boyfriend or her free spirited best friend. Their lives seemed too perfect to taint with the struggle of being Blair Waldorf.

"It's all falling apart. All of it."

She threw her arms around Chuck and he could feel her tears on his shirt.

He held her loosely and cursed Nate.

He should have been there picking up the pieces of his girlfriend. Not him.

But somehow he knew it would never be Nate.

He tightened his grip on her slightly, his fingers at the small of her back.

He imagined how soft the skin underneath would be. How smooth and warm it would feel against his fingertips.

For a moment he felt on fire.

He quickly loosened his grip. He couldn't acknowledge thoughts like those about his best friend's girlfriend.

"I feel like I'm falling apart. Hold me together. Please…"

She managed to pull him closer to herself. Chuck felt like the glue that did hold her together. Invisible to the world but always there.

"He's leaving her. He can't stay in this city any longer. He can't pretend anymore."

Her voice is a whisper on his neck and it gives him goose bumps.

She always did when she was like this.

"If he never loved her…what if he never loved me?"

She was always doubtful. Thinking herself undeserving.

"Blair…" his voice was low and he was unsure what she meant.

"My dad. He's moving to France with his lover. The model who had an affair with my mother actually had an affair with my father. Gossip girl got the story wrong for once."

She laughed softly to herself.

"My head is spinning. My life is spinning."

She let go of Chuck and kicked off her heals and began to spin like a child in front of him.

He stood there for watching Blair Waldorf break down and he had no idea how to fix it.

It took everything in him to not be shaken to the core watching her.

She stopped and swayed a little in her place. Her eyes met Chuck's and he knew she'd never remember this in the morning.

She was telling her secrets to an empty room. Chuck was insignificant in that moment.

She'd feel lighter in the morning and never know that someone else was now carrying the things she didn't even dare say in the dark.

"And Serena left. She didn't even call me. She just packed her bags and left. Her mother says she's gone and she won't tell me where."

She crumbled to the floor in tears. She sobbed and he didn't know what to do.

He couldn't hold her. He couldn't help her like she needed to.

He could only keep her secrets.

"Everyone who ever cared about me is leaving. What's wrong with me? I'm trying so hard and I just keep failing."

She became quiet for a moment. He felt chilled to his bones. He felt he was going deaf from the silence but her breaking it hurt just as bad.

"It's such a struggle…"

It was moments like those that scared him. Moments like those that Chuck knew things would never change between them. He'd always keep her secrets because it's the only way she knew how to survive.

_**so take me and break me and make me strong like you.  
i'll be forever grateful to this and you.**_

He walked to her slowly and helped her to her feet. He was practically carrying her as they walked to the staff elevators.

The look on Chuck's face told anyone who saw them that if he saw even a hint of a camera they would lose more than just their jobs.

Once on the elevator he pulled out his phone and texted Nate to meet him at his room as soon as possible.

* * *

Nate arrived half an hour later. He looked disheveled and a bag in his hands.

"What?" He asked in a rushed tone.

"What do you mean, 'what'? Have you seen Gossip Girl?" Chuck said calmly.

He had a new shirt on, one without Blair's tears dried on the front. His hands placed loosely in his pockets.

Appearance was important to Chuck. He could never let anyone know just how much he had come to care for her.

How her happiness had come to be so intimately linked with his own over the years.

"Yeah, I saw Gossip Girl. Someone posted pics of Serena at JFK. I'm going after her."

Nate lifted the bag indicating his plans to run away from the UES as well.

Chuck shook his head.

"It isn't going to happen."

"What do you mean?" He looked bewildered.

"Think about it Nate. You're going to chase after Serena and what is going to happen?"

Nate's blue eyes clouded slightly. He never really thought things out.

Chuck was the practical one.

"Chuck man, you don't know. You don't understand. The wedding. We slept together at the wedding."

"I know. I saw you two."

Nate smiled a little. A twinkle of hope that his friend would see his point of view.

"Then you understand. I have to go after her. It meant something…it had to have."

Chuck steadied himself. He had learned long ago the best way to win an argument was to remain in control. And Nate was spiraling just as fast as Blair was.

"She's your girlfriend's best friend Nate. Even Serena wouldn't sink that low."

He could tell Nate wanted to punch him. The flash of anger across his eyes and his fingers formed loose fists at his sides.

"It doesn't matter," Nate replied.

"It does. She's running away because of you and you're going to chase her? It's not worth it."

He brought a hand to Nate's shoulder.

"I found Blair at the bar. She was a mess."

Nate looked torn at the moment and Chuck knew it was the time to remind him of what Blair meant to him.

What he meant to Blair.

"Think about it Nate. Her parents are getting a divorce. Her best friend just left without a word to her. Gossip Girl is having a field day. If you leave, she's going to have nothing left."

Chuck didn't need to say anything more. Nate was putting the pieces together before his eyes. Serena would never be with Nate. She could never choose him over Blair.

And it wasn't so much that he settled for Blair but that he his life would never be as perfect without her.

"Chuck…I…don't tell Blair. It was a momentary lapse in rational thinking."

Chuck nodded. Serena was irrational to a fault. If only Nate realized how irrational Blair was.

He still only saw her in her constrained world and she'd never tell Nate how her world was spinning.

"You're secret is safe me Nate."

He handed him his room key.

"Now I am off to a party I am very late for."

Chuck walked away and heard the door to his room open and close.

The only place he was going was to the empty bar downstairs.

His shoulders felt too heavy to support anyone else tonight.

_**i'm here for you to use, broken and bruised.  
do you understand?  
it's only you, beautiful.  
or i don't want anyone.  
if i can choose, it's only you**_

* * *

I'll let you all try and figure out what the importance of Blair and Chuck's conversatoin (or lack there of) was. Honestly it is mostly because I'm still trying to piece it together myself…but it just felt right

Thank you once again to everyone who reviewed and author/story alerted the fic. Knowing people understand the madness makes writing it easier.

_Brand New_ lyrics

Feedback? Reviews are motivation so please leave one.


	3. This Is A Forgery

I preface this with the warning that Chuck will do anything. Good, bad, disgusting, it is Chuck.

Nate is the hero so that leaves Chuck with being the anti-hero.

I'm much better with descriptions and thoughts than words so this chapter was very hard to write because it is dialogue heavy.

Enjoy.

* * *

Blair never knew that her rise to the top was not inevitable. Like the rest of her life, she imagined it like a movie where the curtain parted and she walked up the stairs of Constance Billiard with a soft light focused upon her and finally only her.

That was of course not how it had happened. Things rarely happened how Blair liked to remember they did but Chuck was alright with that. He knew his job was to make sure whatever came her way in the end it looked seamless.

Like it was always meant to be.

There were many people who did not want another sophomore ruling the school. Especially Serena's sidekick. Sure Blair had the money, the boyfriend, and the look but somehow Serena managed to define Blair's existence more than she did.

Regardless of who felt they were entitled to ruling Constance Billiard, Chuck wouldn't allow it. That wasn't part of the plan.

Blair had always wanted to queen and something as trivial as two juniors would not get in her way.

Or at least Chuck's.

He looked around the party he had found himself at. Starlite was the hottest bar in the Lower East Side and one never frequented by UESers. That was probably why they were there. A place away from the prying eyes of New York's elite.

Everyone let loose in the UES, they just made sure to do it somewhere cameras were banned. Gossip Girl didn't believe in hearsay.

Chuck smiled, Starlite had been one of those places but the fact that his father owned the development company which owned the bar meant certain rules could surely be broken.

He found his targets at the bar. They too had always been jealous of the spotlight Serena stood in and with the blonde gone they knew they were posed to take over Constance Billiard.

He smiled; nothing went down better than a scandal in the UES.

"Hello ladies." He placed himself between the two best friends.

"Chuck Bass…" they said together.

His reputation had preceded him once again.

He gently placed a kiss on each of their hands causing them to blush.

"I see I was not invited to the celebration."

One of the girls smiled and placed a hand on Chuck's thigh.

He was not surprised by her forwardness. No one on the UES was as innocent as they put forth, they simply made sure no one could catch them.

"There is no party without you now is there Bass?"

He gave her his devilish grin, "Indeed."

He ordered drinks for the two girls and a whiskey for himself.

"So what exactly are we celebrating?"

He sipped his drink while the girls drank them quickly in typical escapist fashion.

They hadn't even made it to the top and they were already starting to crumble.

"Isn't it obvious?" The other one responded as she played with the rim of her drink.

She was more calculating than her friend but Chuck had a few tricks up his sleeve.

"Please enlighten me…" he turned towards her slightly but his fingers continued to play with the fabric of her friends dress.

"Well, now that S is gone we were thinking those stairs at Constance Billiard were looking awfully empty," she paused catching Chuck's eyes, "Who better than us to take over the top spot?"

"My thoughts exactly. I was getting a little bored of S's antics. With you two, things would be interesting to say the least."

He signaled for another round of drinks.

"And how does this affect you?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I like to keep up on things. You never know when a favor may come in handy."

His fingers found themselves dancing along the upper thigh of her friend. Words with one, seduction with the other.

The girl giggled under her breath. His reputation preceded him on many levels.

The other one smiled at him, "Chuck Bass needing favors? I thought you would have at least had a more convincing argument."

"Who said I would be the one needing a favor?"

She looked surprised but hid it well by sipping the drink Chuck had bought.

A favor from him did have benefits. His father owned half of Manhattan and hotels in at least 12 different countries.

A favor from him meant certain doors would certainly open that were not even present before.

That was the thing about Chuck; he never made an offer anyone could resist.

She set the empty glass down, "And our part?"

He smiled at the two girls, a sparkle in his eyes.

"A dance?"

_**This is a travesty, this is a travesty,  
Every sentiment has been contrived.  
Palatable and so refined. Sugar sweet to appetize.**_

Two hours later the three of them stumbled towards the bathroom door. The feel of their skin against his hands so warm. Alcohol and sex. A habit he was sure he'd never be able to break.

The girls slipped into the room as Chuck held back for a moment.

He grabbed the arm of some clubgoer.

"Take a picture in 20 minutes. You can keep the phone and this," he slipped him a hundred dollar bill, "Just make sure to send it to Gossip Girl."

* * *

She was sitting alone at the large table in the Palace's private brunch room. He didn't even have to tell her Nate was running late. She always already knew.

"You made the front page of Gossip Girl. You should know she looks down on threesomes as I do."

He grinned at her and took a seat at the table, "Don't pass judgment until you have sampled the goods B. Threesomes can be very fulfilling if you are with the right partner."

He winked at her playfully.

"You are disgusting."

She picked a grape off her salad.

"You wouldn't have me any other way."

She looked at him for a moment and he looks away.

This was her Chuck. Good or bad.

He couldn't help but wonder if she would want him any other way. But then again she wouldn't be Blair if he was someone else.

"You'd think they'd be smarter. Only you can survive this kind of social disaster."

"Sometimes a reputation helps more than it hurts."

She shrugs her shoulders, "They'll probably never show their faces again."

She pauses for a moment, understanding fully the implications.

He sees it written on her face. The thrill of knowing she was at the top. Knowing that the spotlight was finally hers.

She won't admit it because she has no idea he already knows. She'd never know that he had set the stage for her entrance.

"They were starting to get on my nerves. Did you know one of their fathers knows Marc Jacobs? He got them his summer line early," she shook her head in disgust, "They couldn't even color coordinate. Fashion disasters but those bags got them points they did not deserve."

Nothing had ever been easy for Blair. That was a mistake people made when they judged her. No one knew how uncharmed her charmed life was at times.

These small victories were what kept her going. Knowing that sometimes things did fall into place like she had always imagined.

She picks up another grape before beaming at Chuck.

"Eleanor is finishing up the business deal for her new collection. She said she might even show at fashion week in Paris. She said I could come…"

She trails off and looks out the window so he doesn't see her eyes tear up.

He knows the part of the conversation she left out. She could only go to Paris if she looked like the models. Eleanor's criticism was often subtle but it was always there.

And that's how he knows it'll fall apart again.

"I may have to make a trip to Paris myself. I believe the threesome has its origins in France."

She rolls her eyes at him, only half serious, "You really are disgusting."

He takes a strawberry from the salad she's barely touched, "And you love me for it."

He stands and walks towards the door. Nate had just texted that he was on his way in.

"And B, if you were interested in learning the origins of the ménage a trois while exploring the city of lights I am always just a phone call away."

He looks back to see her smiling.

"In your dreams Bass."

He winks one last time before greeting Nate.

She really had no idea.

_**There is a path,  
and to get where its leading,  
you've got to be sharp and never bend easy  
**_  


* * *

Dashboard Confessionals

So yeah, I told you. He will do anything. At least it was for Blair. That has to have some kind of redemptive value. And I really don't want it to seem like he took advantage of them. The girls consented to the act--though maybe not to the picture.

Characterizing Chuck was hard. I didn't have the words to describe his mannerisms but I hope you can imagine where they fit in.

Thoughts?


	4. Bend not Break

Thank you to my readers. I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I like writing it…

* * *

"How could you wait till the last minute? Come on Nathanial, we're 14, time to take some damn responsibility," Chuck said slightly exasperated with his best friend.

He finished the blunt and crushed it swiftly with his foot.

"And I'm assuming you want me to bail you out…as always."

Nate looked at him with his best 'friend in need' look and Chuck knew he was a goner.

"How many times do I have to save your ass from a rock and hard place and trust me, if you don't pick the perfect gift, Blair will be both the rock and the hard place."

"I know man. That's why I need you. You understand them."

Chuck rubbed his forehead. Sometimes he worried about Nate.

"Girls…please tell me you do not mean girls."

Nate shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. They say one thing when they mean another. And they act different when they are around different people. I just get confused."

Chuck laughed and thanked God Nate was good looking. That and the fact that Nate fit perfectly into Blair's definition of Prince Charming.

"Alright. We'll start at Fifth Ave and work our way around town. Keep your schedule open because this will take all day."

He may have given Nate a harder time but Chuck was never one to disappoint. Least of all Blair.

* * *

Nate picked up a large crystal heart necklace on a gold chain.

"Yes, no, maybe?"

Chuck glanced up and nearly chocked on the complimentary champagne he was sipping.

"Yeah, it's a great choice Nathanial….If you were Blair's 76 year old great aunt who is blind in one eye. Blair would never wear that and if you give it to her she will never sleep with you as well."

Nate looked frustrated.

"I'm trying…seriously…I'm just not good at it."

"Not good is just the tip of the ice berg. You are horrendous at this."

Chuck took a second stroll around the store. Nate following closely behind him.

"Anything?" He asked, his eyes filled with hope.

Chuck simply sighed.

"Nothing feels right. Nothing says Blair."

"But we've been everywhere. We are _in_ Tiffany's. This is like her Mecca. If we can't find anything here we won't find anything anywhere."

Nate took a seat, looking completely defeated.

"She is going to kill me."

Chuck laughed, Nate was right but he would never allow that to happen. He'd always orchestrate things to ensure Blair was happy. And Nate made Blair happy.

"Never lose hope Nathanial. That is key. Let's go back to Saks, I have an idea."

* * *

"Are you sure Chuck? This isn't much of a gift. It's barely a gift. Let's go back to Tiffany's. Maybe they sell gift cards."

Chuck placed a hand on Nate's shoulder, trying to calm him.

"She will love this. Trust me."

"But Chuck, you cannot be serious. She's going to look at me like I showed up with nothing."

He tried to walk away but Chuck kept a firm grip on his shoulder, "No Nate. She is going to look at you like you handed her a golden torch. The Italian fashion scene is overflowing with them. Blair will be the first to bring it back in the States. A style icon. Trust me. She will love it."

Nate sighed, "If there is one person I trust, it's you. Let's get it wrapped. We only have a few hours until her party."

Chuck nodded and handed the item to Nate. Nate could never appreciate Blair's fashion sense. He never knew of the hours she spent planning her outfits making sure she didn't break some obsolete fashion faux pas.

Rules, restrictions, restraint was how the Waldorfs lived their lives. Her mother, even her father, had ingrained that in her from a young age.

Nothing in excess because Serena was the one who was allowed to be a free spirit. Van der Woodsens were known for things the Waldorfs never could be. Blair always had to be in control. She always had to fit the mold that Serena broke.

He followed Nate out the door.

He wondered if his best friend would ever catch on.

* * *

_**I catalogue these steps now  
Decisive and intentioned.  
**__**Precise and patterned  
Specifically to yours.**_

Blair met the two of them at the elevators. Her mother was away on business and her father was working on an appeals case in Boston leaving Blair to throw herself a birthday party.

By now they were all well-versed in handling birthdays, Christmases, and summers by themselves.

Well, not by themselves, they'd at least always have each other.

"I'm so glad you guys are here!" Blair squealed as she wrapped her arms around Nate.

Chuck watched her for a moment. She had gotten good at covering it up, pretending that by now she had learned to handle the lack of her parents in her life as a normal event.

And though she wasn't so obvious with her need for attention, like Serena, Chuck saw what their absence did to her. How it constrained her more and more. So much so his 14 year old mind could barely handle it.

He let the thoughts go. He was only allowed to get so thoughtful after a few glasses of scotch.

Blair hugged Chuck and ushered them in.

They each took a glass of champagne and from the look in Blair's eyes he could tell she was dying to see what Nate had gotten her.

Nate glanced at Chuck nervously before handing over the small box.

"Here's your present Blair…"

He trailed off, unsure of whether he should start playing defense already or to wait until she exploded.

She gingerly took the box trying to contain her excitement but Chuck noticed how the corners of her lips turned upward slightly. How her eyes sparkled.

She opened the box and examined the contents. Her face revealing nothing to an outsider but Chuck saw what probably no one else did. Happiness.

He felt his stomach tingle knowing he had helped bring that feeling to her. Knowing he was part of the reason she felt happy, even if it was for only a few moments. Even if she would never know of the part he played.

Serena stepped forward, ready for damage control and Nate placed his hand on her upper arm.

"Blair…I…" he began trying to explain but Blair grabbed him tightly in a hug.

"I love it…I absolutely love it," she kissed him softly.

Nate looked at Chuck, finally smiling and mouthed the word 'thank-you.'

She pulled away from Nate and pulled the headband out of the box.

"It's Audrey Hepburn chic but with a modern flair. It's me. And it matches my dress perfectly."

She stepped towards the mirror to adjust the red headband with a graceful bow into her hair.

Nate followed and stood behind her.

"I hear the Italian fashion scene is overflowing with them. I thought you could start a trend here."

She turned and kissed Nate again.

They broke apart after a moment and Blair's face was a light, "You know me so well. I really love it. Thank you."

Chuck smiled to himself as he went off to find some real alcohol.

* * *

She found him a few hours later, near the bar. He had become bored with most of the guests by now so he was simply nursing a drink.

"You know you are way too young to be drinking scotch."

Chuck shrugged his shoulders, "If I am going to drink I might as well drink the good stuff."

She wrinkled her nose at the scotch before lifting up her champagne glass, "This is the good stuff."

He smiled at her, "To each his own."

She took a seat next to him, her thin legs dangling slightly.

She looked relaxed in that moment. Not so constrained by the rules of what a hostess should and should not do.

He liked her this way, probably more than any other way and he was thankful that he was one of the few people in the world who ever got to see her this way.

He'd do anything to make sure it would never change, even if it meant spending everyday before ever major life event in Blair's life shopping for the perfect present with Nate.

"I wish they were here..." she began slowly and Chuck didn't even have to clarify that she meant her parents, "We were supposed to go out for dinner but things came up suddenly. At least the party is going well."

She smiled and touched the headband gently.

He wondered if Nate would ever know how much it meant. How much someone knowing what she alone wanted meant to her.

She never got to be the center. Even on her birthday her parents had found other places to be.

He took a sip of his drink. Nate would probably never realize but it didn't matter because he'd always be there to make sure Nate never faltered.

She shook her head softly before looking at him again, "You know you still owe me a birthday present."

"I'd never forget."

Chuck reached into his pocket and pulled out a Tiffany's box.

Her expression showed she was uncertain of how to react to the box.

Chuck simply grinned. That of course did not mean he could not have some fun along the way.

She opened it up and lifted the gold chain with the heart shaped crystal on it.

He almost laughed at the look of utter disgust on her face but he kept his composure. He had to sell it so she would never suspect.

"It's ugly. It has got to be the ugliest thing I have ever seen. I mean, I cannot even believe Tiffany's would sell this. You didn't just buy this off the street and put it in a Tiffany's box, did you? Because that is illegal. It's like defaming Tiffany's."

She looked at him, her eyes scanning to see his intentions.

He simply smiled his Chuck Bass smile. He'd always play the fool for her.

"There is a gift receipt in there. You can exchange it for anything you want there."

She breathed a sigh of relief and finally smiled at Chuck, "Thank you."

She looked towards the party, noticing Nate and Serena on stage singing karaoke. They were laughing and acting like children.

Even on her birthday Serena managed to be the one who had all the fun.

He could tell she wished she could be that way. She wanted to go act immature and mis-sing lyrics to some nineties pop song but Blair Waldorf had grown up much too fast for something like that.

Her toes curled slightly and Chuck knew she was using every ounce of self restraint she had within her to not run on stage with her boyfriend and best friend.

Instead she turned to him again, "You should take lessons from Nate. He always gets the best presents. Maybe next time he can give you a heads up on what I like."

Chuck simply nodded, "I'll keep that in mind. Now come on, I think Serena and Nate are looking for some company up on that stage."

She held back, "I just couldn't..."

He looked her in the eyes for the first time that night, "No one's here to enforce the rules Waldorf."

She looked away and he knew he'd broken down her walls for a moment. That rules could be bent without being broken.

He grabbed her hand and though she continued to protest he knew it was all too easy to get her to the other side of the room.

He shared a mic with Serena and watched Nate and Blair stand intimately close to one another around the other mic.

He would deny to no end his participation in their rendition of Nsync but he knew he would always remember the way Blair was smiling on the stage. The red silk of the headband shimmering slightly under the lights.

He had that warm feeling in his stomach again knowing he had a part in bringing a genuine smile to her face.

Maybe one day when he was older he'd realize it was butterflies that gave him that warm feeling.

_**but I've hidden a note,  
it's pressed between pages that you'll read if you're so inclined.  
It says, "Does he ever get the girl?"**_

* * *

Dashboard Confessional lyrics

Of course Chuck picked out her birthday presents. Nate is somewhat too dense for something like that. And he definitely does not share the same flare for fashion Blair and Chuck do (i.e. the bright yellow and orange coats they wore in recent episodes). And wouldn't it if be fun to think that Chuck was behind Blair's headband craze without her ever knowing? Something so simple but so integral to her character? Chuck at his best.

And I know Chuck is a little insightful for 14 but these kids grew up fast. Little parental supervision, endless sums of money at their fingertips, it would be very hard to stay a child in situations like those. I hope it was believable.

Hope you enjoyed. It'd be great to get a little review if you did (and of course if you didn't I'd love any feedback on improvement).

Thanks for reading and please remember to review.


	5. This Will All Fall Apart

So, I have not abandoned this fic and I am still just as passionate about it as when I started writing it. Unfortunatly, I write chapters for this fic when I feel inspired; there'll be something I see or something someone says that makes me think of a moment Blair and Chuck might have shared and I write it down as fast as possible. I'm sorry for the long gaps inbetween but my muse is ever changing for this fic so please bear with me and know I appreciate all you guys for thinking this fic is something worth reading. I also put this in to the TV show section b/c it is TV-verse.

As always thanks for reading and I'd love to hear any thoughts.

* * *

_**Sooner or later this will fall apart  
It takes more than science to save a failing heart  
I wanted to keep you and hide you from the sun  
but no one could reach you**_

Chuck Bass never needed people. Except Nate but that was really it. Chuck could make it through life with just his best friend. Oh, and some good weed. But that was truly it.

His best friend, on the other hand, was a people person. He liked being Mr. Popularity, knowing everyone's names, being the apple of every mother's eye, and the star on the rugby field. That was just Nate…but that was also how he found himself in the middle of two best friends. Though Nate, himself, was completely and totally unaware of the situation. He had always been slightly oblivious to his surroundings.

Chuck sighed; he, Nate, Serena, and Blair had hung out often since they were children. Their parents had all been friends and it was natural that they, the richest, most well known, and most influential of all the UES children would fall in together. Still, Nate was much better friends with 'the girls' (as Nate referred to them) than he was. He found female companionship boring, generally, unless there was scheming or sex involved but those were the expectations not the rule.

For the most part though, especially as of late, he had found himself hanging out with 'the girls' more and more often. It was obvious to Chuck that they were trying to get Nate's attention. They had both been granted permission to date over the summer and Nate had 'perfect boyfriend' written all over him.

Chuck, of course, did not like going out with 'the girls' because he'd never even make it to even first base with either of 'the girls.' And that was all he really cared about.

Nate, though, loved their company so as always Chuck conceded. Nate always believed the more the merrier and most of the time his limo was full because of that sentiment.

Sometimes he didn't mind, popularity did have its benefits. Like every girl wanting you.

Chuck watched Nate now. He was walking down the hall with both Serena and Blair on his arms. The three seemed occupied in an in-depth discussion though Chuck saw the inklings of wanting more than merely conversation from both girls. At some point both would demand more than friendship from Nate and Chuck knew his own life, vis-à-vis his best friend would be torn apart based upon this decision.

Blair had of course claimed Nate since the first day of kindergarten. Though he knew that wouldn't stop Serena. She was always breaking rules without knowing it. Blair's best friend was equally oblivious to everything around her at times.

He knew that if he asked Serena if she liked Nate she'd laugh it off. Nate wasn't her type but one had to be blind to not notice the signals she sent out.

But then again Serena had always needed attention. She didn't have the perfect family Blair claimed to have and Chuck knew how much Serena hated Blair for that. Though she'd never admit it.

He watched them now, it was their first year in middle school and already things were changing. Slowly around them couples were forming. He himself was a sworn bachelor. Why choose one when he could easily have them all?

That wasn't to say he hadn't changed in some respects. While everyone else was dabbling in first make-out session while intoxicated, he had crossed the line that no other sixth grader had.

All he had really learned from the experience was how to play emotional games. He did pride himself on that fact. He knew how to wrap the world around his finger thanks to her.

Nate didn't know about emotional games. He innocently believed the world was fair and just and that people generally got what they deserved.

Nate would never understand the full implications of what choosing between Serena and Blair meant.

He didn't know the world worked in horrible ways. That the UES and all the supposed friends of Blair and Serena preyed on situations when someone faltered.

Nate's choice would have implications on the social standings probably through all of high school.

If every girl saw Nate as the ideal boyfriend, who he chose, would clearly be part of UES royalty. A princess for prince charming. A queen to rule the school.

He really hates that it's supposed to be Blair but this is the path she was set on since birth. Eleanor had been talking about that Vanderbilt diamond for longer than even he could remember and he can only imagine the look of utter disappointment on her face if Lily is able to eye the diamond on her daughter's hand.

He wonders how Serena can believe Blair when she talks about her flawless family. The supposed happy and still married mother and father who doted endlessly on their perfect angel.

He wonders how she's never noticed Eleanor's constant comments about Blair's weight. How Eleanor and Harold barely spoke to one another. How a doting maid was really all Blair had at home.

Chuck hates that Blair is meant to play princess to Nate's prince charming because Nate is no prince charming and Chuck can attest to that fact. But it doesn't stop anyone from perpetuating the misinterpretation.

Nate came from old money. His mother was an heiress to a steel company. His father was a stellar broker who followed in his own father's footsteps. Shining examples of the UES at its best.

People didn't know that all Nate wanted was the opposite of what he had. How much he hated the way people saw him and how much he rebelled against it.

People thought Chuck to be impulsive but he was calculating. And he may have acted on his impulses more than others but everything was done for a reason. Before he did something, anything, he had gone over the different outcomes a million different times in his mind.

Nate simply lit up and did whatever he felt like. That was probably why Chuck could list multiple times he had rescued Nate's ass from a tight spot.

Nate was the most naïve, contradicted, and selfish person Chuck had ever met but people only saw the nice guy shell he wore. Deep down Nate hated what he had and this simple fact blinded him from seeing beyond his own pain. Seeing beyond his own constraints.

Outwardly Nate didn't want to be defined by the UES but Chuck knew that the more Nate tried to run from it the more he conformed to it.

Nate had no choice in being the prince charming of the UES. The only thing he did control was who would be royalty with him. It was meant to be Blair, but Chuck feared Serena would manage to steal the spotlight like always.

Chuck could already envision the scenario before him. It would be a club and they would be drunk. They had only starting drinking to the point of intoxication but Serena had already learned the art of being a desirable drunk. He could already see Serena on stage enticing Nate with her eyes. Giggling and acting like she has no idea what the sway of her hip did to men.

Blair was so much more hesitant about those things. She'd never once gone up on stage, even after all of Serena's urging. He knows she'd be trying to have a conversation with Nate but he'd already be too high and drunk to follow anything other than Serena on stage.

Chuck knows Nate would never be able to resist. He knows if Nate chose Serena it would never last but it would also be the end of everything for Blair.

Everything Blair wanted, even deserved, was to be determined by his unworthy best friend.

He hated that this was how it worked. That the rest of Blair's social standing depended on whether in one moment the well-mannered brunette could steal the spotlight from Serena.

He knows she won't. It's unladylike to do the things Serena does but he also knows it's the only way Nate would notice anything but Serena on that stage.

Nate would be impulsive in that moment and nothing else.

He thinks now of Serena's blonde locks and Blair's doe eyes. They're best friends but so different. He knows he has to do something.

He can't let Nate be the ass he is because there's something about Blair he won't even admit to himself. That innocence she still carries in her eyes. It's a breath of fresh air given the fact that everyone else is already so jaded by it all.

He likes that she still believes in fairytales though he's afraid to imagine what might happen if they shatter. Those fairytales defined Blair and without them he's unsure who she would be. And he likes her the way she is.

He knows he has to do something. Someone should be able to find some happiness in the emotional black hole they lived in.

He knows if he doesn't do something Nate will choose the leggy blonde because if he's learned one thing from his father it's that leggy blondes always win over perfect brunettes. And his mother had been perfect.

He's not sure if he's going on an impulse right now but he hasn't thought of the millions of scenarios like usual but he doesn't care because in his heart he knows this is the right thing to do.

* * *

They go out that Friday. There's some new club opening and they've all got fakes that say they're 21 when they look 12 but it doesn't matter.

He sees Serena on her second martini and he knows this is the night she's going to accidentally steal Nate from Blair. She's been getting more and more aggressive at school lately. She even convinced Nate to go off campus during lunch with her, knowing Blair would never violate school policy.

He walks up to her a moment later after finding the person he was looking for.

He was playing with fire he knew. One wrong move and it'd all go up in flames. He's sure what he's doing will ruin them all someday but right now it would save Blair.

He leans toward Serena, tapping her shoulder softly.

"Serena, I'd like you to meet Georgina Sparks. I think the two of you could be really good friends."

He buys them both a drink and lets them talk for a moment. They bond over their need for attention, though not in those exact words but Chuck knows that's the gist of it. Serena and Georgina are almost the same person.

They're going to destroy each other and he knows he is the one responsible for letting someone like Georgina Sparks into their group but he knows this is going to set Serena on a different path.

She won't need prince charming anymore because she's found someone who won't make her feel bad about the large sums of alcohol or countless men that want to dance with her. She was always lying to Blair about it.

He walks away from them. Sometimes he felt like the devil for twisting people but he knows that there was at least one good deed in all of that.

He spots Nate and Blair in a booth at the back of the club.

He's rescued one perfect brunette and that was all that mattered.

_**But enough of these pointless noises  
Enough of just counting down  
This is not a test  
If love is not the answer  
then maybe I misunderstood Oh the question  
Oh there must be someway out of this**_

* * *

Aqualung lyrics

I wrote Chuck's version of how Serena would steal Nate to parallel how it later happens on the show because we all know Chuck is pretty much psychic at this point (at least when it comes to Blair). He managed to stop Nate from slipping once but it was bound to happen later.

Plus isn't Chuck introducing Serena to Georgina like the strangest thing? It just somehow fit (in my mind at least). So did Chuck's perfect mom. I just liked the idea that Chuck had a jaded view of women because of his own family situation (as opposed to a mom who died at birth).

I also thought about writing more of Chuck's thoughts but I felt like it was getting heavy and you saw a random and odd side to Chuck. Plus, I felt like there was enough of Nate through Chuck's eyes. I hope I didn't paint Nate too harshly, he's just confused and angsty and doesn't pay attention to things causing Chuck to have to pick up the slack.

Once again, I know 6th grade seems young but they're rich and unsupervised so things are bound to happen.

Hope you enjoyed the update. I do have the idea for the next chapter in mind, though it is going to be kinda radical but similar to a degree. We'll see how it plays out. Please leave a review, I love hearing feedback on everything.

Thanks for reading!


	6. Illusions

I want to let everyone reading that I have not abandoned this fic and I am still just as passionate about it as when I started writing it. Every story alert and review I get keeps me motivated to keep thinking of one-shots for Chair. Unfortunately, I write chapters for this fic when I feel inspired; there'll be something I see or something someone says that makes me think of a moment Blair and Chuck might have shared and I write it down as fast as possible. I'm sorry for the long gaps in between but my muse is ever changing for this fic so please bear with me and know I appreciate all you guys for thinking this fic is something worth reading.

As always enjoy the update and thanks for reading and reviewing.

* * *

Nate's been a bad boyfriend lately and Blair believes he's to blame.

He rolled his eyes; her best friend was the reason to blame. But Blair would never see that.

She was at his suite rambling on and on about how he has been manipulating Nate's precious time.

"Chuck, are you even listening to me?"

He sighed, "Unfortunately."

"You're just blowing this off. This is important."

It was always important. Nate forgot this, Nate missed that. Chuck was tired of it. You'd think that after three years Nate would've learned to cover his own ass.

"I don't know what to tell you Blair. Nate and I have been hanging out the normal amount."

She scoffed, "Normal? Every time I text Nate he says he's with you."

He looked at her through hooded eyes, pondering what Nate's texts meant.

He and Nate had been hanging out more but really only because Nate had dived head first into the social scene that Serena occupied.

Nate was never much of a drinker but lately he took every opportunity to cut loose. While Blair was busy focused on the PSATs Nate had managed to black out three nights in a row. It was a surprise the boy was still functioning much less talking to Blair about their relationship.

"This is serious Chuck," she sat on his couch, her hands wringing the fabric of her dress, "I think I'm ready to take that next step with Nate."

Chuck peered at her over his glass of scotch, "You mean you're thinking about oral sex…kinky Blair." He gave her a wink.

She glared at him, "You're such a pig Chuck. I hate that Nate talks to you about this stuff but…"

"But nothing. I'm the expert. Of course he talks to me."

"Well, I think I'm ready to go all the way with Nate," she replied bluntly causing him to nearly chock on the sip of alcohol he had taken. That was something he was not expecting. When she had mentioned going further with Nate he had been thrown for a loop but he figured it was time Nate got a little more out of the relationship.

He really didn't think Blair would take their relationship to _that_ level, she'd never let her tights wear at the knees. He'd tease her and reassure her that everything was perfect with Nate and she'd be off. He definitely had not expected her to pull out sex.

She remained poised on his couch. Each designer piece she wore coordinating perfectly with the other. If Chuck had to describe perfection in one word, it would be Blair. And that was how she lived her life.

Perfect daughter, perfect grades, perfect role model, and perfect girlfriend. An appearance of nothing but perfection.

And to go along with her perfection was an imperfect boyfriend, though Blair had yet to take notice of Nate's imperfections.

It was ironic though because perfection was only at the surface. Blair was nowhere near perfect. She was so full of insecurities sometimes he wondered how she functioned. But she had learned well from her mother to mask any problems and walk with her shoulders back and head held up high.

She had a dream box; Serena had accidentally mentioned it while plastered ages ago. Blair had turned a bright red and denied its existence.

Only later when everyone else was off on the dance floor and Chuck and Blair sat alone did she felt the urge to explain herself. Maybe she knew he wouldn't judge her because he was the only one who always seemed to understand the world she lived in. Maybe it was because she was full of dreams and he had none.

There was a picture a New York brownstone that when she described reminded him an awful lot of Nate's abode. There were images of a few wedding dresses; all classic yet glamorous. And finally a picture of a ring, something antique she had said. Something old with tradition.

He had asked her why and she looked at him with no reply, her eyes blank. Finally she shrugged, that's just what she was. He thought it might have more to do with Serena being the modern one. Or maybe because her mother had told her that's what she was. That's what a Waldorf was.

He still remembered that box. The one hidden under her bed. The one that held all her dreams.

Everything would come in time she had said. Her life was a set of plans she had crafted at a young age. She struggled at times but never gave up hope because one day it would all come together.

If it didn't everything she did was for nothing. All the planning and tension and restriction would be for nothing. He wanted Nate to promise Blair he could make the dreams in that box real but he wasn't sure if Nate could.

Nate was a good friend, really the best. He threw down for his share of weed. He had a handful of contacts at bars. He was always down for cutting class and getting trashed instead. All in all he was the best friend Chuck could ask for. But that also may have made him a bad boyfriend to Blair. Nate did not prioritize well.

He felt guilty now, thinking of how many nights Nate had spent out with him instead of with Blair. The number of text messages he had written on Nate's phone when Nate was too plastered to call Blair to cancel their plans. He shouldn't have let Nate become this bad of a boyfriend.

"Are you sure?"

Her gaze was furious, "What do you mean am I sure? Of course I'm sure. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

"Don't get your panties in a bunch Waldorf. I'm just saying this is a big step. I wouldn't want you to make in haste."

She got up and poured herself a glass of the sour liquor. She downed it quickly and after taking a deep breath, she finally met his eyes, "I just feel like Nate and I aren't connecting lately. Like he's somewhere else. And I know I've been stressed because of exams and Shakespeare Lit so maybe it's my fault but I just want us to be okay. And relationships are supposed to progress, right? This is just the next step."

He didn't know what to tell her. He poured himself another drink. He didn't know anything about relationships but all he did know was this was a step Blair wasn't ready to take, even if she had somehow managed to convince herself she was.

"Relationships progress but at the pace they're supposed to."

"Well, maybe I am ready. I've been dating Nate since seventh grade. He's the one. What difference does it make?"

He felt unsettled by her confession.

"It makes a difference to you. You want it to be perfect."

"But it could be."

He took a deep breath. It wouldn't be perfect. He knew that. Nate's head was in all the wrong places and there was no way Nate would say no if Blair asked. This was a phase, Chuck was sure. Nate couldn't keep up with the lifestyle. Nate wanted desperately to be immature and free and thinking he had found the one in seventh grade was beyond Nate's comprehension at this point. Eventually he'd want to go back to Blair and her routine but right now he was trying desperately to be a different person. Chuck knew what was going to happen was going to happen and he didn't want Blair to be collateral damage.

"When were you thinking about springing this on Nate?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I was hoping you could help me with that. You know, give me some," she laughed nervously, "You know…tips."

He shook his head and took a step back, "Blair…I…"

"Don't make this awkward Chuck. If there's anyone that knows sex it's you and this is Nate we're talking about."

He almost felt like a bad friend to Nate. Was he actually cockblocking? But this was Blair. The perfect brunette who was the only person he'd ever met who deserved everything she dreamed about.

"I don't think Nate's ready. I mean, he wants it to be perfect too. And he's been under a lot of stress too lately."

She looked at him hopefully, "Really? You mean it's not me?"

He leaned forward on his elbows brining himself closer to her, his voice softer than earlier, "It could never be you Blair. You're the best girlfriend Nate could ever ask for."

"I don't know Chuck. I feel like lately I haven't been good at anything."

He nodded. He was the only one she could confide in about the small nuisances in her life. The little things that made her question keeping faith in her plans. They all eventually became the reasons she believed it would get better someday. What didn't kill her really did make Blair Waldorf stronger.

Her voice was quiet, "My parents are fighting again. He's been in town for a week and they're already at it again."

No one else understood Blair's parents. She couldn't let anyone else know that her perfect home life wasn't so perfect.

Nate's parents were perfect; or at least came off as perfect. Really Nate's father couldn't afford to not love Nate's mother. And Nate's mother didn't believe in divorce. It was as easy as that.

Serena was already cynical at the concept of love. She had given up on finding true love when her mother mother's third marriage had failed. If Blair confessed to Serena the truth about her parent's marriage she'd laugh and say she had known it all along. True love didn't exist and it was about time Blair stopped believing in 'meant to be.'

"Is it worse than usual?"

She nodded while pouring herself another glass. She never drank. And it was probably on an empty stomach. She was cured now but he knew she had other methods.

"Do you think Serena is alright? She hasn't called me in a week and she's always out with Georgina. And she cut class 3 days this week and the other two days her coffee was spiked. I'm worried about her…" She rambled off.

"Serena is a big girl. She knows what she's doing."

She shook her head, "I don't know if she does. I think her father's new marriage is really throwing her for a loop."

William van der Woodson's remarriage had been quite the gossip in the UES. And the fact that the girl was only five years older than his daughter had not helped in keeping things quiet.

"Serena hasn't talked to her father in years. We all know what it's like to have absentee parents."

She sighed and agreed reluctantly, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

She fidgeted slightly. Her hands wringing in her lap.

"What else is going on?"

"I don't know. I'm still stressed about Nate. Are you sure everything is alright?" her voice was quiet; "I just can't lose him. He's so great and so good to me. Daddy loves him and our families have known each other forever."

"Trust me. You and Nate are perfect. Now let me call my limo to drop you at home. It's getting late."

She moved towards the door. He was surprised she managed to stay steady given the amount of liquor her tiny body had consumed. But Blair was skilled in keeping it all together. At never faltering.

"Yeah. The Sheppard luncheon is tomorrow. I guess I'll see you at the wedding."

He nodded and gave her a sly grin, "Scope out the bridesmaids for me. You can let them know I am more than willing to make sure they get their share of attention at the wedding."

She shook her head and laughed, "I'll keep that in mind Bass."

* * *

She looked beautiful. And Chuck wasn't one to use that term lightly. He had met women who were sexy, stunning, irresistible but beautiful was a word he used only when he meant it. And right now he did. Her hair was in curls and open down her back. The dress looked like it was cut for her alone. He found her instantly in the crowd and never let her out of his sight.

Nate looked stoned but no one took notice given the lines of coke being done in the bathroom. Nothing was frowned upon when in the company of friends.

Both of them eventually came to a stop at his table after mingling with a few of their parent's acquaintances.

"I can't believe there's no alcohol. Who do these people think they are?" Nate asked discontentedly while taking a seat at the small table, his hand loosely holding Blair's.

Chuck gave a smirk before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a sleek flask, "Always come prepared Nate."

The blonde smirked and reached across Blair for the bottle of freedom. He poured the drink with a heavy hand and gently stirred the now spiked orange juice, "Where would I be without you man?"

Chuck merely shook his head. Nate would have a lot of things if it wasn't for him. Most of all he'd be having sex with Blair but that wasn't important. What Nate didn't know couldn't hurt him.

Serena stumbled slightly over to the table the three now shared. Chuck couldn't help but eye her legs in the short dress she wore. Her dress had gotten quite a few stares but upstaging the bride was probably part of the plan. She took the flask from Nate's hand and placed it at her lips, skipping the steps that involved mixing the liquor with a chaser.

"I'm glad someone brought the party because I ran out before the ceremony even started," she giggled and took another swig.

Blair's eyebrows knitted in concern and he caught the silent conversation that took place between them. Finally Serena broke the silence. "Stop being so pretentious Blair. It's a wedding, people are supposed to get trashed," the blonde snapped before taking another gulp of the liquid.

"Did you ever think that maybe the reason there's no liquor is because this is a wedding luncheon. No one gets trashed at 2 in the afternoon."

Serena rolled her eyes, "Weddings are supposed to have alcohol so all the people who had to suffer through two people entering into the sham called marriage can toast to the couple's happiness."

Blair sighed and didn't respond. Serena had seen enough marriages fall apart in front of her face to argue otherwise.

"Just be careful, k S?"

Serena shrugged, "I'm going to find more alcohol. I'll catch up with you guys later."

She stalked off and the table fell silent again. He looked at Blair who was watching Serena's retreating figure, "Don't worry about her. She'll be okay. And if she's not me and Nate will make sure to take care of her."

Blair nodded and Nate's hand found hers again, gently rubbing his thumb in small circles. He would have been pleased that Nate had learned how to comfort his girlfriend if he hadn't notice Nate drop Blair's hand when Serena had arrived at the table.

Harold Waldorf approached the table and asked Blair to dance. He watched her go off and noticed the strained expression on Harold's face. Chuck could only imagine what it might be about, another fight with Eleanor, another two month trip to France for business. He just hoped Harold would wait till later to discuss it with Blair. She seemed to have enough on her plate between Nate and Serena.

Nate gently punched him in the shoulder bringing him back to present company, "I'm going to check on the status of that alcohol. This place is way too stiff for me."  
Chuck merely nodded and watched as Nate made his way through the crowd, following the perfume trail Serena left.

* * *

It was an hour after Nate left that Chuck had the sense to check on Nate and Serena only to discover the inevitable happening before his eyes. Two empty champagne bottles littered the floor and Serena held a third. He was surprised they could still function much less undress one another.

Their movements were rushed and Chuck was glad it was Serena who felt Nate's desperation and not Blair. He could save this; he had become well versed in damage control. This wasn't beyond repair, not yet at least.

This was the end, Chuck knew. There would be no more wild parties with endless sums of alcohol. This would be Nate's wake up call. He knew it would partially be Serena's guilt that would set Nate back on the right path but it didn't matter. Blair would have her boyfriend back, nearly in the same state as when they had started to drift apart. Nate could still give her everything she needed.

He made his way back to the luncheon and over to the table where Blair now sat alone. The tight curls had loosened and her posture was slightly off but she was still the most beautiful woman in the room.

He tapped her on the shoulder, "May I have this dance Waldorf?"

She nodded and took his hand. They made their way towards the dance floor and Blair placed her hands in all the right places and he made sure to keep his in appropriate places.

"Have you seen Nate? He disappeared while I was dancing with Harold."

Chuck nodded, "He went looking for alcohol. He and Serena got a little too trashed and were asked to leave via the back door." He felt her tense in his arms, "Don't worry. They're both okay. Nate texted me and asked if I could drop you off."

He had texted Nate telling him to go home because Blair wouldn't want to see him in the state he was, the message cryptic enough to prevent Nate from knowing Chuck had seen him giving in to Serena's charms but blunt enough to raise some guilt. Nate did love Blair, Chuck just wasn't sure it was enough to keep Nate from all the distractions life offered.

They danced in silence for a moment, moving in perfect unison with the music and one another. He wanted to tighten his grasp on her but with everything that he had witnessed today he knew better than to indulge his basal desires.

"Still thinking about our conversation from the other day?"

She nodded, "You were right. I love Nate but with everything else going on I know the timings not right. It would have been rushed and nothing like we've planned."

He breathed a small sigh of relief. A weight lifted from his shoulders.

"You'll know when it's right. You and Nate will both feel it."

"Careful Bass, that almost sounds like something a romantic would say."

He gave a soft laugh and shook his head, "It's not being a romantic. Sex has never been special to me. It's just a game but it can't be that way for everyone. Someone's got to experience all those emotions dead white men have been writing about for ages. It'll be you. I know it."

She leaned away from him for a moment, her eyes filled with uncertainty, the doubt that constantly filled her mind. "Do you really believe that?"

He nodded and she went back to dancing with him. They didn't need any other words. If someone as cynical as Chuck believed in her happiness Blair was content. She would never have to know the true reasons for his actions. He'd always do his best to keep the bad things from her.

The song ended and Chuck reluctantly let her go. She stood before him still so poised but less controlled. It was a perfect dance and for a moment he wanted to be the one to always dance with her. To know her body the way Nate one day would. But then he remembered her dreams and knew he could never make them come true. He'd settle for puppeteer.

"Thanks for not copping a feel Chuck."

He smirked, "I can be a gentleman sometimes. But only for short periods of time. Let's get out of here, the serious lack of alcohol and women is starting to work on my last ounce of self control. I am not responsible for the actions of a sober Chuck Bass."

She slapped him on the arm playfully as the two walked towards the doors.

They were greeted by sunshine and Chuck stood by the limo door, waiting for her to enter first. Perhaps he was only a gentleman around Blair.

She entered the limo and turned her attention to the Manhattan streets that sped by her. She looked calm finally, like a few of her worries had been lessened.

He captured glances of her throughout the ride, her attention never faltering from the window. Finally she spoke and he was given reason to keep his eyes on her, "Daddy sounded happier and I think I might have gotten through to Serena. I feel like things are finally getting better."

He nodded and looked out his own window, trying to see the silver lining Blair had found. He prayed it all would last but somehow he felt like it wasn't time for him to step away just yet. That she would still need him in those desperate moments. He wondered what would become of him the day she would stop.

_**Fall on me if you ever forget how beautiful you are  
I believe in your words and your eyes  
and when you speak of your dreams  
I realize that I will envy whoever you give your heart to  
So in the end it s not just you with your memories and your scars  
Fall on me if you ever forget how beautiful you are  
And I will never let you fade away  
And I want you to know that I love you  
for all you are and all that you'll be.**_

* * *

_Matt Nathanson lyrics_

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this fic. It is one of my favorites to write because I can kind of be all over the place (and I tend to be very random). I had this update partially written for a while but some computer trouble and other things going on in life forced me to put the update on hold for a few weeks. So once again sorry for the wait but know I am an avid C/B fan and plan to update this as often as I can.

I know I wrote a post wedding scene earlier but I couldn't pass up the thought of Blair almost having sex with Nate to save their relationship, which is on the rocks because of Serena, and Chuck talking her out of it because he knows what an important step it is for her. He knows once Nate screws up enough he'll realize he wants Blair and everything can go back Blair's idea of "perfect." Plus I really wanted to write Chuck and Blair being together while Nate and Serena are trying to cover up their indiscretions.

And I loved the last five minutes of "The Ex-Files" because it hints to the lengths Chuck may have gone to in the past to get what he wanted (and in this fic it's Blair's happiness). It really showed the depth of Chuck's characters--and he was amazing in the post funeral episodes, if only the writers had given us more Chuck and Blair. I've been dying for some Chair so I thought I'd put my longing into fanfic, hope you enjoyed it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that next week we might get to see something that will fill the C/B void in our lives.

Thank you for reading and please review if you have a moment.


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